Student Success, College Readiness, and Empowering Futures

0:06 SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another road to an effective classroom environment. I am your host, Dr. Lashanta, also known as the Classy Sassy Consultant. I am an educator, I am a consultant, I am a coach, and I work with it educators, leaders, and organizations to create an environment where people thrive. On this podcast, we explore practices and perspectives that shape powerful learning environments for students and educators alike. Today's episode is especially meaningful because we're talking about something that makes nearly every family, school, and community helping students unlock their potential and navigate their path toward college, career, and life success.

0:55 SPEAKER_01: And to help us guide through that conversation, I am joined by our very, very special guest, Mrs. Shelly Howard. Shelly is widely recognized for her work helping students and families navigate the often overwhelming journey of college preparation, scholarships, and academic success. Through her work, she has helped countless students gain access to opportunities they may not have realized were possible, empowering them to step into their futures and confidence. Shelly, welcome to the show. And I am so glad that you are here today.

1:32 SPEAKER_01: I almost was so giddy I forgot to do um to start the recording, to pause the recording before the phone rang. But you know, you know, it's all good because you are here and I'm excited. And so again, welcome to the show.

1:48 SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me. And I look forward to giving your listeners some incredible bits of wisdom and hopefully inspire them to support their students as well.

2:00 SPEAKER_01: Yes, ma'am. Awesome. So we're excited to have you, of course, as always. And I know our listeners, especially our parents, educators, and students are going to gain so much insight from this conversation. So let's just start with our first uh question. And this is an opportunity for you to give that inspiring story that you shared with me as to how all things came together for the work that you are doing now. You've had such an impactful career and life stories. What inspired you to begin helping students and families navigate the path towards higher education and opportunity?

2:41 SPEAKER_00: I love that question. That could be a podcast in itself. So I'll give you the uh condensed version. It all actually started with my firstborn. I am a mama four. I have two boys and two girls. And my firstborn came home about this time in his eighth grade year, and he was super excited. And he comes running into the kitchen. Of course, I thought it was for food, and he said, Mom, I know exactly what I want to do after high school, and I know exactly what I want to do for a career. And I looked at him and I said, Well, I changed my major five times in college, and I definitely didn't do it that fast.

3:24 SPEAKER_00: And he says, Well, I know. And I said, All right, what happened at school today? He said, The counselor came in. She told us we needed to pick our classes for our ninth grade year, and she said we could be whatever we wanted to be. And I thought, wow, that's pretty inspirational inspirational. And he says, Yeah, I want to be a brain surgeon and want to go to those ivy things. And I'm like, Awesome! Wow, that's that's huge. And he looks at me and he goes, Can you help me? And that's really when this whole thing got started.

3:59 SPEAKER_00: He was my firstborn and he was one of those students, right? We all know I have four different, very unique children. He just kind of dragged me along with him. He was always, what's next? What's next? What do I do? How do I do it? And this was another example. So I did what any crazy mom would do, and I went back to school and I got my master's degree. And then I went back to school and I became a certified independent college strategist through UC San Diego. And then I became a financial strategist and I worked with him for four years.

4:37 SPEAKER_00: He, I say he because he did the work, he got it done and he never complained. When he applied to college, he applied to 12 schools, got into 11 of them, seven of them full right offers, went to Harvard four years pre-med bio for free. I didn't pay a dime, then went on to UC San Diego Medical School and will graduate in five weeks from UCLA Orthopedic Surgery, Hips and Knees. So we are very excited. He will graduate with a total of$30,000 in debt, which he will have completed his first paycheck.

5:21 SPEAKER_01: Wow, that is awesome. And to have a child that has that in that motivation, that intrinsic motivation to say, this is what I want to do in eighth grade. And you, as mom, you watched him and and walked with him through each step of the process. So that's awesome. So five weeks, five weeks introduction.

5:45 SPEAKER_00: It was amazing. I never really thought that college ready was going to be a new career for me. But after he had seven full-right offers, everybody, friends, relatives, can you help me? Can you help me? And that's when I knew that I I was meant to do something very different than I thought I was gonna do. And that's how College Ready got started 18 years ago.

6:09 SPEAKER_01: Wow. So I know that this is the question that people are are thinking right now. So I'm gonna ask since they're not able to ask the question. Now, your son only has$30,000 out of all the years of going and med school. So we know that med school costs a lot. So did your did your son have the grades? Did he get the scholarships? Was that a part of the process? Or were there some other things that were involved? Because that I know that that's the burning question is how did you get to that place with him?

6:50 SPEAKER_00: So I think it's important for listeners to realize there is so much money available. It's just most people don't know where to go and tap into it. So, first I want to just let you know, parents, if you want money, it's there. In the last 18 years, I just added it up, college ready. Uh, it's not just me, it's me and my team. Our students have earned over$80 million in scholarships. That's a lot of money. Last year alone, it was over$10.3 million. So we're getting more students, more money. And so your question of the how, I think is important.

7:32 SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna break it down. There's four buckets of money that you can go after. Okay. There's the need-based money, which is if you make under$200,000 a year, there's money available. If you can get into Harvard, they will pay 100% of what you can't afford. So that's the first bucket because most people say, Well, I can't afford college. And I'm like, Well, really, you can. It's just, can you get in? The next bucket of money is what we call independent scholarships. These are things like right now, there's a$10,000 scholarship if you're a vegan.

8:09 SPEAKER_00: I tell students all the time, I could be a vegan for$10,000. So, you know, whatever you gotta do. That bucket of money has gotten students the it's filled the gap. So if a student gets a merit scholarship, but maybe a not a full, or an athletic scholarship, but not a full, the independent bucket is the one that can help the student fill the gap. Most students receive right around$20,000 a year in independent scholarships if they do this system properly. Then there's the next bucket of money, and that is the institutional money.

8:48 SPEAKER_00: This is where we help the family pick the right school for the right student. Let me help families understand this from a perspective they might understand. If I was applying to work for you, and I said, Ah, I really want to work for you, and you say, Can I see your resume? And I say, Well, Doctor, you know, I've been at the beach a lot and I haven't really had a big chance to like really work on my resume, but I really want to work for you. And you say, Well, when you work on your resume, come back and talk to me, right?

9:25 SPEAKER_00: Child two says, I really want to work for you. And you say, Where's your resume? And I say, Well, I've tried really hard to get it down to four pages because it is that deep. And I am so passionate about all the stuff that I've done. Can I tell you about it? And you say, I will find money to pay you because you're gonna make my life so much better. So now, parents, think about yourself at your job. If you go to work and do the minimum, you're not getting a raise and you're not getting promoted. If a student does the minimum, just passes a class and doesn't do anything else to help themselves or another person, there's no money.

10:12 SPEAKER_00: Right? But if your student has done passion with a purpose and community service and leadership, if they've done extracurriculars that are very intentional, if they've shown intellectual curiosity, if they have worked hard on their GPA and their test scores, if they have written a brilliant essay, yes, it is work. But we all know as adults, if you don't work, you don't get good things. So it's really setting them up for life, not just college. So there is so much money available. When we put all of the buckets together, oh, there's another bucket, sorry.

10:52 SPEAKER_00: So there's institutional based and then there's merit-based. The merit-based is the one where the student has gotten, you know, AP scholar with honors, they have taken it to the next level, that is somebody they want at their school. Remember, college is a business. Don't forget for a moment, if you don't pay them, there is no college. Okay, they can't give it all away because they have to pay teachers and facility and and the such. But if you're one of those people who are gonna make their school better, create clubs, organizations, really put in the effort, raise the GPA, play a sport, whatever it is, guess what?

11:38 SPEAKER_00: They want you and they're gonna throw money at you. So it just comes down to the old-fashioned saying of you you gotta work hard for what you want. But the money is there if you do work hard.

11:52 SPEAKER_01: Yes, and you broke down where the money is beautifully because all of those different aspects, just speaking from experience, I know all of the different avenues and where you can get money. But when I was in school, it was you really did not have someone breaking it down in such a way. And I feel like if I had you at that point in time, then I could have walked away with so much more money than I did. But you know, God made a way for me to have uh my loans to be discharged as a public being um a public servant.

12:31 SPEAKER_01: So I'm thankful for for that. But you beautifully broke down where all the pockets of money are for parents, and you said it does take work. It's not you just don't have someone waiting out there waving money around saying, Hey, we have ten, fifteen thousand dollars to give you to go to college, you have to put in the work. So the very inspirational and concise way of breaking down how to find how to find the money. Go get the money, parents. Go get the money. So that that leads me into the next question because in talking about hard work and talking about the people that you have worked with over 18 years of your uh company being in place and existing.

13:20 SPEAKER_01: Was there ever a moment in your journey where you realized the work you were doing was truly changing lives?

13:27 SPEAKER_00: Oh, I I will tell you, it actually started before College Ready had its name. I was sitting in the audience when my son was giving his Salutatorian speech. And of course, I was a proud mom, just sitting there listening, going, wow, he really earned that. Until a young man sitting next to me leans over and whispers, dude, I didn't even know that kid was smart. And I'm like, dude, like first, okay, we got past the dude. And then I thought, wow, here's a perfect example of a student who had a very well-balanced life.

14:04 SPEAKER_00: His friends didn't even know how hard he worked. That to me was the first indicator because many families are terrified when I tell them that our student needs to work for this. They're like, how? They don't have any more time, they don't have bandwidth. And and really they do. If you count how many hours they're on their phone and their computer, that alone right there will give them plenty of hours to make themselves amazing. And then I started doing it for free. I was absolutely leaning into how can I help families do what I did.

14:44 SPEAKER_00: My son even made me a bet. And the bet was when he crossed the Harvard stage in four years with zero debt, that I would write a book for others to do the same. And I thought he forgot about that until the day he crossed the stage of the Harvard graduation ceremony. He handed me his diploma and he says, Mom, where's the book? And I don't know about you parents, but when you're called out by your child, it gets real. And so I'm like, okay, he held me accountable. I did not want to write. I am not a writer at all.

15:24 SPEAKER_00: I am a giver. And so I sat down with the idea. I'm gonna give everybody everything I know. And so my first book was released about six months after he graduated, and it was a bestseller in 24 hours. And the title is How to Send Your Student to College Without Losing Your Mind or Your Money.

15:45 SPEAKER_01: It's a great title.

15:47 SPEAKER_00: Yeah. And that's how I felt. I felt like I kept my mind and I kept my money, and he was able to graduate debt-free. He would not have gone to medical school if he went into debt. That was a deal that we talked about. And I didn't want him to have to go into the military if he didn't want to. If he wanted to, so be it. But if he didn't, I didn't want him to be forced into a career or into a certain future. And so that gave him the opportunity to choose what was his next path. And so that's what I get to do every single day.

16:27 SPEAKER_00: I now have a team of 11. And so I have essay editors and application reviewers and test strategists and college consultants. And so it's not me anymore, but it's still my plan. The same plan I got my son into Harvard is exactly what we use because it has to be unique, has to be strategic, and it has to mention the student, their passion, their purpose, and what they've done.

17:42 SPEAKER_01: I love that word strategic because it implies or it really states that you have to have a plan, your strategy. What will you have in place in order to achieve this particular goal? So in looking at if you want to go to college, again, going back to that, you have to work for it. What is your plan? And it sounds like you have the recipe for making sure that those who want it are able to follow step by step in order to get there. So I love it. Love it. Sounds like we need to have more Shelly's in every every school district, every state.

18:24 SPEAKER_01: And you're virtual too. So, you know, you could go uh you could still be able to help people virtually because we're gonna talk later about uh the mentoring piece that you had shared with me earlier. But transitioning into our next question. Many students they underestimate their potential, especially when they feel they're limited by their circumstances. So, from your experience, what are some of the biggest misconceptions students have about their abilities and their future?

18:54 SPEAKER_00: Number one is parents think they can't afford college. That's the number one. Number two is they think it was like when they went to college. And let me help change the mindset on that one a little bit, parents, because I am of this generation where my kids are just finishing college, and it is nothing, I'm saying nothing at all, like when I applied to college. I literally typed an application and used whiteout. I literally put the application, paper application in a paper envelope and put a stamp on it and really prayed that it would actually get to the university to even be reviewed.

19:38 SPEAKER_00: That's a whole nother stress that they don't even talk about. And by the deadline, right, snail mail, we had no idea if it was going to get there in time. The next piece is it's become more competitive and more expensive. When I went to school, right, it was$3,000 a semester, right? Now it's 30 plus a semester. We're talking the game has changed. My kids love to say back in the cave woman days, that was what it was like. But that's the reality. So here's the thing: if you approach this like you did when you went, it's not gonna work.

20:20 SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you why. Because they need a on-ramp. Think of it like you're on an airplane taking off. You have two choices. The pilot says, hey, short runway, we're gonna take off. You know it's coming, but your heart is racing, or you have a long runway and you're like, wow, is this thing ever gonna take off? And then your heart is racing. Same thing for university and college. The sooner you start to have a plan, a strategy, a discussion, the easier and more successful your family will be academically, socially, athletically, and financially.

21:00 SPEAKER_00: So here's the thing: if you wait until the end of their junior year or senior year, which was a tradition many years ago, you are gonna miss 75% of the scholarships, if not more. You are going to miss the opportunity to have multiple years of community service that the student is passionate about, that they can lead others to create that change. You're gonna miss being a four-year athlete. You're gonna miss being chair one of your music department because you don't think forward. I tell students when they're in seventh and eighth grade, what do you want to lead when you're a senior?

21:42 SPEAKER_00: They're like, what do you mean? Well, I'm just having that little seed planted going, yes, you do want to lead something when you're a senior, even sooner if possible. But if you don't even talk about leadership, they're not gonna raise their hand and say, Yes, I would like more work. They're teenagers.

22:03 SPEAKER_01: That's a big misconception. And and I'm glad you brought that point up that you know, when we were, and and I'm only guessing that we're in the same generation. I'm not, I'm said I'm not gonna guess ages anymore with anyone. I did that with one of my coworkers at work, and he was like, huh? So I'm not gonna, but I'm Generation X. I did an episode a few weeks ago about um the different generations from the silent on to generation uh Z and uh the impact that, depending on what generation you're in, the impact that you have on that classroom and on the student.

22:44 SPEAKER_01: And what you bring to the table. So just, you know, and bringing up the point of, you know, when we were in school, 11th and 12th grade, that's when you really started, you know, honing in on where you're going and doing the applications. And as you said, it has changed. I have a coworker whose whose niece, she was, she has been being sought after since sixth grade by colleges. They have college applications and letters that come on a regular basis. And she was in sixth grade. She's in eighth grade this year, and she's a dancer, and she's in uh Montessori.

23:28 SPEAKER_01: But they're seeking these students in as early as middle school because they're looking for the best and the brightest and people who are going to put forth the work and who are well-rounded. So I'm glad you brought that point up because there are parents, the Generation X, there are some that still have students who are in school or they're raising their grandchildren and they think that they're supposed to wait until high school for to figure out what to do. And some, as you're saying, it can be late when it comes to trying to find that money if that child wants to go.

24:06 SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate you bringing those um those points up. So, what do you feel separates students who are ultimately who thrive academically from those who struggle to see their own potential?

24:21 SPEAKER_00: Well, that's a really great question. Nobody's asked me that in 70 podcasts, so that's a good one. I I do believe that some people innately have it inside of them. And I believe others need somebody to believe in them. And you don't know what you're gonna get until you approach that. My firstborn super just came out just easy. And I was like, wow, this is all you other moms complaining, like I don't know what your problem is. This is so easy. And then, right? Then I had number two, and I'm like, oh, now I get you.

25:04 SPEAKER_00: And she's amazing, she's a nurse, and I her love for her patients is so deep. And I I just think of just so different. And then my my next two are my stepchildren, and they were raised by a different parent, and so I got them when they were teenagers, and so that was a whole different stage of pick up a student. And what I've learned is each one needs to uniquely find their gift, their talent, their passion, and their purpose. And once we can give that to them or or inspire them or listen to them, they're gonna be on fire no matter what, because they found their why.

25:49 SPEAKER_00: And right when we find our why, we will do anything to get that done. Nobody has to punish us, nobody has to push us or do anything because now it's it's on us. When a student finds that because I want it, that's it. Academically, socially, financially, whatever their future is, that's all we need to do is find help them find their why.

26:19 SPEAKER_01: You know, you answered that beautifully because you hit on two key points. And both of these are points that I talk about a lot in my individual episodes where I'm speaking on a topic, that you have those students who have it within them, that intrinsic motivation. They have that growth mindset that no matter what, they have their goals set in mind and they go for them. And I was that type of child. I was the child that by seventh grade I knew what I wanted to do, spelled it out by eighth grade, was student of the month, and and still have the little article, the blurb about me being a psychologist and writing children's books.

27:05 SPEAKER_01: So I'm still in that realm because I I I'm a psychologist every day in education trust. So but I had but it started early and it was intrinsically within me. And my mom, she didn't have to check my homework. I checked my siblings' homework, and she didn't have to go to the schools and chase after me doing anything wrong. Because as I tell my students, 13 years of school, no referrals, no tardies. So if it's in you, you're gonna do it. Those those students, they're easy. And then you have those that need someone to help inspire them, those mentors.

27:43 SPEAKER_01: And so mentorship is so very important because those it those students may not have it within them yet, or they may not have someone at home that believes in them enough. And so that mentoring piece is so very important, and it and it does give you the difference between those who are going to thrive and then those who may struggle. But even those who might struggle a little bit, they can still get to where they need to be. They just need a little extra push and another couple of people or several or a whole village in their lives to help edge them on.

28:21 SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate you answering that question because those that's a beautiful way to answer it. So from your perspective, we're gonna talk a little bit about the role of the educator. From your perspective, what what role do educators play in shaping a student's confidence and belief in their future?

28:43 SPEAKER_00: And you kind of touched on that already, but if you want to expand on that, you know, when I when you when you mentioned that, the first thing that comes to mind is my third grade teacher, Miss Ship. And I can remember her. I had a tough time with comprehension. That was like my biggest struggle. So good at so many things, but for whatever reason, reading comprehension was a struggle. She pulls out her guitar and she goes, sing with me. And we sang and I memorized it. She taught me that there's different ways to learn, and she didn't try to put me in a box.

29:25 SPEAKER_00: She didn't try to help me see that, you know what, maybe that's just not your subject. She said, let's approach it in a different way. And that's exactly when I talk to schools and school districts, I bring the emphasis on every student has an opportunity. They just don't always know how to get to it. And, you know, I don't charge for any of these uh Zoom calls, but what what I think is really important is for every student to be an individual. And so when we teach in the classroom, and I am not a teacher, but I will tell you, I was a room mom for 18 years.

30:07 SPEAKER_00: So I have enough qualifications to say that I've been in the battlefield. And what I what I loved about many of those experiences is watching the teachers get one-to-one with the the students. It didn't happen at every classroom, it didn't happen at every school, but when it did, I could watch my own children soar. Favorite teacher, favorite subject. It was amazing to me. And I always told those teachers they were my angels, my little guardian angels for my children, because I would threaten my children that I would homeschool them if they were naughty.

30:50 SPEAKER_00: So I knew that that was not my gift, not my talent. And I was so grateful and still am for all of those amazing teachers. We keep in touch still with many of my kids' teachers.

31:03 SPEAKER_01: Wow, that is awesome. That is awesome. Having that that teacher who can speak into your child's life and be encouraging, that is definitely a blessing. And and I had several of those in my my children's. I have a son and a daughter, they're in their 30s. And um, my son, so it was the reverse for me. My son, he was the oh lord. And my daughter, she was just just easy as Sunday morning, just just very easy. But my son, he needed a special type of teacher, and he got that in kindergarten. I had to switch him to a different school because he was not getting what he needed from the elementary school and kindergarten.

31:49 SPEAKER_01: So it's so very important. And he high flyer, high flyer. And so when he was moved to another school, he flourished and he was just the best. So he's he had several teachers that they understood the ADHD mind and and what mama dealt with at home, so they understood and had some sympathy. So I understand the the power of the educator that can come in there and be that support for your child is so impactful. So so let's continue this conversation. I hope everyone is that is listening that you are getting all of this information because this is gold.

32:35 SPEAKER_01: Make sure that if you are a parent or educator, we're continuing the conversation. But make sure you're taking notes. Go back, rewind, just so you can get this information. And also uh Shelly's contact information will be available um at the end of this podcast as well as after the podcast because there will be more um promotion of what she does. So our next question is how can schools build stronger partnerships with families to support student success?

33:06 SPEAKER_00: Wow, I've seen it done really well. There's a a school in Laguna Beach, California, and I happen to go to high school there. So I'm still part of the alumni. And when I was there, it wasn't so. But since I have graduated many years ago, I have gone back and I actually spoke in person last month. And what I saw was a parent teacher collaboration like nothing I've ever experienced so far. They work together to bring in people like myself to help families. You talked about the village. They have figured out the village.

33:47 SPEAKER_00: They've brought in therapists, they brought in tutors, they've brought all of this into the families. The parents and the staff do fundraising events to bring in additional funds to be able to have extra opportunities. I am blown away at the difference this group has made. They have built a whole new library, they have built a whole computer lounge. I mean, nothing like I was amazing. So I don't know the ins and outs, but I can tell you from when I left there feeling not very supported at all to what they have now, I would love to emulate many times over.

34:34 SPEAKER_00: I think the connection is valuing both staff and parent support. I really think they put the marriage into it where they really know that it's not always easy, but it's always worth it. And by leaning into each other and saying, hey, as a school, this is what we need. This is what our students need. And you, as the parents, are telling this this is what your child needs. How do we go prioritize that and make that happen? I believe it's the collaboration of the village.

35:14 SPEAKER_01: Yes, it definitely has to be a collaboration. I totally agree with that. I I make need the name of the school. So we our team at um at my in my setting, we can kind of look at that because you know it's it's just amazing that by the time students get to high school, how there's not a lot of parental support. And, you know, numbers, phone numbers will change many, many times throughout the school year when you're trying to get a hold of them, whether it's for good or or for concerns. And so, you know, parents just being a part of your child's life all the way through high school.

35:56 SPEAKER_01: We see them in elementary school. We sometimes may see them in middle school, definitely show up for programs when their children are being highlighted and spotlighted. But high school, it seems like we don't see them as often. So just help helping parents to understand that yes, your children, they are growing up and they're young adults, but they're still they're still minors and they still need that support. So that is it's a beautiful thing when you can have teachers, educators, and parents working together all for the benefit of the children.

36:32 SPEAKER_01: Definitely is a vital asset. So, what are three things that parents can start doing today to help their children prepare for their future opportunities? And we've kind of touched on some things, but right now, today, them listening to this podcast, what would be your advice for them? What should they start doing today?

36:55 SPEAKER_00: So this may be counterintuitive, parents, but pause and listen. I I I can't emphasize listening enough, but not trying to solve the problem, not trying to fix it, but truly just leaning in and saying, So tell me about that. Not a how was your day, good or bad? It's you know what was the high light of your day? You can't answer that in one word. So it's really thinking about, I remember I would have a date once a month with each of my kids. And we would just get a frozen yogurt or grab a cookie, or it wasn't like a big deal.

37:34 SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we would just go walk at the park. And it was always just a check-in date. And I wanted to make sure how they were feeling and and if there was anything I could do to support them. Trust me, I've worked full-time my entire life. I'm a CEO. I don't have a lot of extra time. My kids would say time is my most valuable commodity for sure. But those important check-ins were some of the most meaningful conversations I've had with my children. And so instead of saying, what do you want to do after college or after high school, say, you know, what brings you joy?

38:17 SPEAKER_00: Right? It's so it's it's non-confrontational. It's it's an easy thing for them to lean into. And when they say, Oh, I love soccer, well, what about soccer brings you joy? No confrontation, no judgment. Oh, well, I love the team spirit of the the sport. I love my friends on my team. Amazing. Do you, you know, is is that the main reason? And you can have this two-way beautiful conversation when you are pausing. Another fun conversation is the millionaire game. And parents, you may really enjoy this one.

38:57 SPEAKER_00: Very simple game that I played with my students. I do with my college-ready students as well. And I say there's only two rules. One, you cannot roll your eyes or go, oh, sigh. And the other one is, parents, you cannot comment, which is the hard part. The rule of the game is I say to the student, if I gave you a million dollars cash and you have 24 hours to spend it, or you have to give it all back to me, what would you do with it? If you want to see what's inside their brain, give them some money.

39:32 SPEAKER_00: Yeah. You're gonna have some dreamers. I I've had students say, Well, I buy a yacht and then I buy a jet, I take all my 20 best friends, and we would fly around the world. And I said, No, no, no, one million dollars. And they're like, Yeah, one million dollars. Financial literacy is very scary in this generation, and a million dollars will absolutely teach you that they don't have a concept. So, why is that important? College costs money, and if they don't understand that if they work hard, they reduce the cost of college.

40:09 SPEAKER_00: Why would they work hard? They don't even understand the cost of college, and they don't even maybe know why they want to go to college. Maybe they've heard you talk about, well, my parents made me go and I took on all this debt and I don't want that for you, and they're hearing negative, negative, negative. Maybe they're thinking you don't want them to go to college when all you're saying is, I don't want you to do it the way I did it. So these conversations and this pause, it doesn't have to be daily, it can be monthly.

40:44 SPEAKER_00: Perfect, I think would be weekly if I could, but my life just got busy. But if you make a date, I will also tell you we had many times that we laughed and we cried. And those times you can never get back. We want our kids to come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and Easter and all of those. Now's the time to really set the table for that.

41:10 SPEAKER_01: And that is a beautiful way to segue into our final conversation. And I just want to say to parents as well, just to um add to what Shelly is telling us if you start today and you have that conversation with your child, if your child says, I like to do this, I want to be an NFL player, don't shoot down the dream. Because when you do that, then you are closing the door to your child wanting to come to you and tell you anything good, especially if it's related to the passion that that he or she has.

41:53 SPEAKER_01: So listen to what your child is saying as far as what brings him or her joy, and then this opens the door to continue to have conversations so you can help and to help your child to figure out what is it that they want to do with their lives. Because when we do things that we're that we're joyful about, that we find peace, then we're gonna be our best uh at all times. So keep the doors of conversation open. And and if you hear something you don't like, don't worry about what you're hearing. This is your child's vision, and it may change.

42:33 SPEAKER_01: As Shelly's um son, it you know, you you thought that it was going to change what he wanted to do because you had changed your mind, but your child may be different. And so just keep those conversations going and and non-confrontational. So I love the fact that you brought in that piece of being non-confrontational because your child doesn't want to talk to you if you're gonna be combative. And so it's important to open up those, open up those ears. We have the two ears for a reason, and to remain silent.

43:08 SPEAKER_01: Let your child talk for for a while about what brings him or her joy, and then that's going to continue the conversation to know exactly what he or she may want to do at that moment in time. It may change from sixth grade on up to junior year, but along the way, plant those seeds of hard work, putting forth effort, being a well-rounded student in order to get to what he or she wants. And so just to, we're gonna close out, and this is my final question for you. But I'm also after I ask you this question, um, I'm gonna give you the opportunity to talk a little bit about both your the profit side, the nonprofit, um, how people can reach you if they want to reach out, and also the mentoring that I was very impressed with what we had discussed prior to this conversation about the online mentoring.

44:05 SPEAKER_01: So wanted you to share that also with uh with our listeners. So the last question that I want to um ask you is what are some common mistakes families make when preparing for college?

44:21 SPEAKER_00: Oh I would say number one is not talking to your child about the financial piece without making them feel bad about it, like they're a burden. It happens a lot. College is expensive for anybody. I don't care if you're need based on food stamps or all the way until you. Have lots of money, it still feels heavy. And if we approach it as, I don't know how we're going to pay for a college like that, they're going to feel burdened with that. And that burden is going to weigh heavy on their shoulders.

45:00 SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying, you know what, let's talk about the cost of college and how we can reduce it by calculating our student aid index, by completing the FAFA, the CSS profile, by doing community service in service of another person, in doing leadership in extracurriculars, all these things. There are 10 colleges that are tuition free. The student just has to work. So by us saying, us mean parents, saying college is expensive, I don't know how we're going to do it. It is sending a message that you are fearful, and now that child is fearful.

45:44 SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying, the harder we work together to do this, the more prepared we'll be and the more money we'll receive. Every all four of mine got into college and graduated without debt, and I didn't pay a dime. So it is possible, and I want to inspire you parents to just change the language a little bit. My kids are no better than your kids, and I for sure am no better than you. So with that in mind, I talk about a plan A and a B and a C. Plan A is the dream. If they want to go to the NFL, let's go to the NFL together.

46:27 SPEAKER_00: If they have one injury, the NFL is at maybe not there anymore. So now we're going to talk about what that looks like. But if we're looking at three positive inspirational ways to support our child, it's also giving them the ability to have that communication with us. And so the most important thing is talk about their gifts, their talents, and the things that they have been given. When you see a child be kind, say, I saw how nice you were that to that child. I am so impressed. Did you see how those children followed you?

47:07 SPEAKER_00: Like you're a natural leader. When you show your child that they're doing impactful things, they're going to feel confident and do more. Calling them out is important because we don't know when we're doing our greatest gift because it's our gift and it feels normal. But your child doesn't know that that is above and beyond the average person. So you have such an incredible opportunity, parents, to really be there and show the greatest part of your child to them. I always tell my students, I said, tell me who are you?

47:48 SPEAKER_00: And they're like, What do you mean? You know who I am. I'm so and so. And I'm like, no, no, no. Really, who are you? And they shrug there, they don't know. And that's that's sad. Because if they don't know, how are they going to plan for their future and what's a good fit for them? So helping them to know who they are, best if you can give your child college or not.

48:16 SPEAKER_01: Exactly. I love it. I love this conversation. I may have to have you back on again to just do follow-up because you have touched on so many key and crucial parts for parents. And even though this podcast is talking about the road to an effective classroom environment, there are episodes in which they are geared to parents. And even parents can listen to every episode and find out what's going on in the classrooms today. But this is definitely a powerful conversation. And more of our parents need to hear this because sometimes our parents get stuck in a rut because if they if they didn't go to college, they don't see a way out for their children.

49:05 SPEAKER_01: And they may tell them, Oh, you're gonna have to get the money on your own. And I love my mom, my mom, single mom. But that was pretty much what I was told because there was nothing, there was no planning. She didn't go, she finished high school. My dad went on to a junior college, he got his two-year associates, and then that was it. And here I am saying, I want to go to a college for not just four years, but more than that. And she didn't see a way. But I know there are parents out there that have that same feeling that they they just don't see where the money is.

49:44 SPEAKER_01: And you have told us today where the money is and how to get it, and who is someone you can be in contact with if you need help in order to get those funds. So thank you for all of the information that you have shared. And I wanted to give a short time of reflection. I have some questions for the educators, but especially the parents out here, just a few questions that I want them to think about. What is one message every high school student should hear before graduating? And then what is one thing educators often underestimate about their influence on students?

50:24 SPEAKER_01: What is one thing, or what is one piece of advice you would give to families navigating the college preparation process? So I want parents, educators, I want you to think about those questions. Think about how you would answer, answer those those questions. And and I know I said I only I've already asked you your last one, but I actually have one. I want you to um answer one of those questions for me. Uh, what is one thing educators often underestimate about their influence on students?

51:05 SPEAKER_00: It depends on the the person, of course. I believe one thing that many don't realize is the students are always watching. Even the coffee they drink, even how they sit, what they wear, how they talk, how what is their presence? Are they coming in confident and excited to leave the classroom? Or are they coming in, this is a job, I don't want to be here? And that's how they will relate to that teacher and worse, that subject. I remember my son had a Spanish teacher who was just not liking her job.

51:49 SPEAKER_00: And every day she would hand out pieces of paper and have him color in eighth grade. And he was very, very unhappy about it. And he actually went to the school board and said, This is unacceptable. And he was that kind of student. I would hate for any teacher to be that miserable to have that experience. But if that is the case, maybe find other teachers who can lift you up and other other village people to inspire you to really remember why you chose to be a teacher. I think that is so important because you didn't do it for the money.

52:32 SPEAKER_00: Let's be honest. You didn't do it because, you know, every child is super nice and they're going to be so wonderful to you. You did it because you wanted to make people's lives better, is what I'm guessing. And having the summer off is not a bad gig either. But in all reality, I'm guessing at least my my children's amazing teachers were the ones who smiled when the kids walked in, who got right to their studies, who held them accountable. They we called them friendly but firm. And that's what that's what made my kids.

53:09 SPEAKER_00: I mean, they were at school more than they were at home. So I give a lot of the credit to those teachers. I I could shout out at least five of them right now and just say, hey, you you made my kid. And so I just want to let teachers know you do matter from a parent's perspective, from a mom who is so grateful for the people who prepared my son for Harvard, because God knows that it wasn't me. I was not teaching calculus A B and B C. That was not what I was doing.

53:44 SPEAKER_01: Definitely. So just knowing that teachers, educators, whether you are in the cafeteria, the media, you're the media specialist in the in the library, or you're in the classroom, or you're an administrator, just know that our children are watching us and you do have an impact on their lives. Shelly, this has been an insightful conversation. I would love to have you back on on another episode if you're willing, because this has just been great. So I want to wrap up and say again, thank you so much for joining us today and for the incredible work that you're doing to help students and families reach their full potential.

54:27 SPEAKER_01: And to our listeners, if today's conversation inspired you, please share this episode with an educator, parent, or parents or student who would benefit from this message. And don't forget to subscribe to The Road to an Effective Classroom Environment so you never miss another episode. And until next time, and remember, this is Women's History Month. And so Shelly is our second guest in um honor of Women's History Month. So thank you again for coming on the show for the month of March. And until next time, remember an effective learning environment begins with leadership, vision, and a commitment to helping every learner discover their potential.

55:12 SPEAKER_01: I am Dr. Lashanta, known as the Classy Sassy Consultant. And this has been a pleasure to bring Miss Shelley Howard to your attention. Have a great one, everyone.